Episode 3

The Chronicles of Swishy Pete

Of Course Not

"Good evening ladies, my name is Pete and I'll be your waiter today. Can I offer either of you something to drink."

"Yes, we'll both have coffee," echoed the ladies.

"Very well, I'll be right back with your drinks," said Pete as he headed back to the waiter's station.

"Hey Pete," said the Manager, "the two old broads at table sixteen want to change their drink orders to, two, Beefeater extra dry martinis."

"Thanks," said Pete as he sucked his teeth and poured out the two cups of coffee.

"Pete," Minnie said, "can you grab table eleven for me, I am in the weeds?"

"Sorry boo, I gotta get Dorothy and Blanche a couple of cocktails, I think they are about to dish some dirt on Rose."

"You know," Minnie said, "Debbie Reynolds was up for the part of Blanche, but she wouldn't blow Bea Arthur so she didn't get the part."

"Girl you're crazy," said Pete, "Lets go get a drink after work."

"Sorry Hun, I got the kids tonight, wanna come over and watch a movie?"

"Ok," said Pete, "Let me get these drinks to the table."

"Here we are ladies, two Beefeaters martinis, and honey, I'm sensing you want me to keep them coming," Pete said as they lightly laughed.

"Excuse me Sir," one of the ladies said, "I'm Susan and this is my sister Gwen, and we were wondering, are you gay?"

"Yes I am," said Pete.

"We were just commenting how much you remind us of Gwen's grandson."
"Oh," said Pete, "is he gay?"

"Of course not," Gwen said.

"Ok," Pete said," of course not is an opinion not an answer, so let me come at this from a different direction. Does he think he's gay?"

"Yes," Susan said, "he's eighteen and recently told the entire family he is gay."

"He's not gay," Gwen said, "he's just confused."

"Look Gwen," said Pete as he pulled a chair from the adjacent table and sat, "it may be none of my business, but you asked, and you will thank me later. It is an act of emancipation not confusion when a young gay person comes out to his family. He is not asking for your approval, however, he is extending himself and including you in his life, hoping you include him as he is."

"I do not know whether I--well the family, if we can accept that he is gay."

"Listen Honey," said Pete, "you are a nice lady and I am sure you’re a wonderful grandmother, but don't waste time hoping and wishing he was different, you might not get another chance."

"I do love him," Gwen said, "but it is difficult because gay goes against everything I hold to be true. I just do not know how I would do that."

"I wish you the best," said Pete, "but understand that there are a lot of monsters in the world waiting like vultures to prey on a young guy displaced by his family. Whatever you decide, eventually you are going to have to focus less on your personal comfort level and put his ultimate happiness first. It will take time but isn't he worth it?"

"You’re a wise man," Susan said, "I am sure your parents are very proud."

"I have not spoken to my parents in over ten years," said Pete sadly, "you see, I am still that eighteen-year-old boy, in my heart, that's still yearning for my family's acceptance and unconditional love. Don't let my experiences become part of your grandson's reality."